Politics in Nepal is like your toxic dating history — full of sweet promises, sudden disappearances, and shocking comebacks. Every time you think “this time it’ll be different,” they somehow disappoint you in the exact same way. From the smooth talkers to the emotionally unavailable ones, our political parties give serious ex energy. So we thought, what if we matched them with the types of exes we’ve all met (and regretted)? Trust us, it fits well.
1. CPN-UML – The Manipulative Ex Who Keeps Coming Back With “I’ve Changed”
Promises growth, development, and maturity — until you let them in again and realize it’s the same red flag in a new manifesto.
2. Nepali Congress- The Ex Who Gaslights You Into Thinking It’s Your Fault They Cheated
Blames the opposition, the system, the weather, the moon — everything but themselves. And somehow convinces you to forgive them every time.
3. Maoist Centre – The Angry, Intense Ex Who Was Once Revolutionary but Now Just Confused
Started off fighting the system. Now part of it. Constant identity crisis, and you’re not sure if they love you or want to blow up your house.
4. Rastriya Swatantra Party (RSP) – The Hot New Ex Who Ghosted After a Great Start
Young, fresh, and full of hope — they said all the right things and made you believe change was coming. But after getting your trust, they got caught up in their own internal mess. Now they’re too busy figuring themselves out to care about us. You still check on them… but mostly out of disappointment.
5. Rastriya Prajatantra Party (RPP) – The Toxic, Controlling Ex Who Thinks She Was Perfect All Along (And Wants You Back)
Always talking about the “good old days”, constantly blaming your new choices for everything that’s wrong, and acting like she never did anything toxic. Refuses to admit she was the problem. Now she’s texting again, saying “let’s get back together — things were better when I was in charge.” Spoiler: They weren’t.
6. CPN (Unified Socialist) – The Petty Ex Who Left Just to Prove a Point, But Now Regrets Everything
Broke up out of spite, said “I deserve better”, and stormed out… only to realize nobody was paying attention. Keeps reminding you that they used to be important, but now just hangs around awkwardly, hoping someone will still invite them to the party.
7. Bibeksheel Sajha – The Intellectual Ex Who Meant Well But Just Couldn’t Handle a Relationship
Had vision, values, and clarity… but collapsed under pressure. You still check their profile sometimes and wonder “What if?”
In the next part we will try to create breakup messages they sent.
Meanwhile in Nepal 
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