If Nepali Relatives Had Job Titles, These Would Be It

Every Nepali family has that one uncle who thinks he’s a career counselor, an auntie who runs the marriage investigation department, and a cousin who acts like the CEO of gossip. It’s like every relative secretly applied for a job in your life without telling you. So we decided to give them the official job titles they clearly deserve. This might not be true for everyone, but let’s be real — for most of us, it hits a little too close to home.

1. “Career Guidance Manager” – The Uncle Who Thinks Every Kid Should Be a Doctor or Engineer

Even if you’re majoring in fine arts, this uncle will hand you a NEB syllabus and ask, “Why not MBBS?”

2. “Head of Relationship Intelligence” – The Aunty Who Knows Who’s Dating Whom Before Anyone Else

She doesn’t need Instagram. Her sources are faster, more accurate, and scarier.

3. “Annual Exam Result Auditor” – The Distant Cousin Who Only Talks to You in Board Exam Season

Hasn’t texted you in 11 months, but suddenly appears with, “Tero GPA kati aayo ta?”

4. “Marriage Planning Director” – The Auntie Who Brings New Keta/Keti at Every Gathering

You’re 21 and still eating Wai Wai in bed, but she thinks “bihe garna laai thikai ho aba.”

5. “Public Relations Head” – The Relative Who Announces All Your Private News to the Whole Tole

You told her you might go abroad next year. Now the entire district knows you’re “settling permanently in Australia.”

6. “Event Documentation Officer” – The Uncle Who Takes 100 Blurry Photos at Every Function

All photos guaranteed to be off-angle, awkward, and blurry. And yes, they will be posted with zero editing.

7. “Chief Food Quality Tester” – The Uncle Who Complains About Salt at Every Party

“Ramailo thiyo, tara daal ma nun ali kam bhako jasto cha.” Every. Single. Time.

8. “Character Evaluation Officer” – The Aunty Who Judges You Based on Clothes and Instagram Posts

You wore ripped jeans once in 2019. She’s still praying for your soul.

9. “MC (Master of Ceremony)– That Cousin Who Grabs the Mic at Every Wedding & Refuses to Give It Back

Started with “Let’s welcome the bride and groom,” ended with a full remix of Suna Saili.

10. “Finance Inspector” – The Relative Who Asks How Much You Earn Within 5 Minutes of Seeing You

“Tero tala ko jagga kati maa bikcha hola ta?” — casually, while handing you tea.

11. “Time Management Consultant” – The Elder Who Reminds You You’re ‘Late’ for Everything in Life

Late for class, job, bihe, kids — this relative has your entire life timeline drafted and ready.

12. “History Lecturer” – The Grandpa Who Begins Every Conversation With ‘Tyo Bela Ko Kura Ho…’

Somehow every story ends with “tyeti bela ko manxe haru dherai imandaar hunchha.”

13. “International Relocation Advisor” – The One Who Keeps Telling You to Go Abroad

Every time you meet them: “Yaha ke cha ra aba? Testaile ni Australia gayeko suney… tero k plan ta?”
Bro, I just came home to eat food— not apply for a visa.

14. “Chief Comparison Officer (CCO)”- – The One Who Compares You to Every Other Kid They Know

Has a full mental database of cousins, tole ko bachha haru, and falano ko chhora — all ranked by salary, GPA, and number of Australian visas.